Thursday, May 29, 2014

.: take heart :.

This week was a real kick in the stomach about what the heck I am doing worrying about things. Specific things that I feel like I have been praying about (for-like-everrrrrr). 
Well, it seems like forever at least.

Treading some massive water.
Hanging on.
Climbing and climbing to reach the top, the breakthrough.

Lets face some facts, some truth.

In this world, you will continue to experience difficulties...(John 16:33)

Whoa.  Thanks John, that's reassuring. 

No matter how much I plan. How careful I am. How prepared I am, crap is going to come walking (sometimes running) into my life and I have no say in it at all. 
*Sometimes I create problems, due to poor habits, or just plain old mistakes made out of foolishness. But still, truth is,  problems be-a-comin'.

I hang on.  Sadly, I have a tendency to hang on to the wrong end of things. I hang on to my fear. My worry.  I expend so much energy trying to figure out how to fix it. I am mostly always trying to fix 'it'. It drives my husband nuts sometimes I think. But mostly I try to figure it out, immediately. On my own terms. Why don't I sit back and think about what is actually going on, behind the scenes. Certainly God is doing something there, but I rather fix it with worry. Hahaha. Silly me. Why would I think worry has any fixing capabilities whatsoever? Worrying's track record is 0 for 0.  But I cling. desperately.
Has God ever come through for me? Really saved me and my family? You bet. Totally opposite track record.  The 'problem' has got nothing on Him and His perfect love for me. 

John follows up with this promise, (thank you Jesus-redemption.) This hope, this truth that I too quickly overlook.

...but take heart, He has overcome the world. 

Has. As in- done. I seriously needed to check where I was placing my energy and focus. This week, it took me a good three or four days to realize what was going on here in my heart. I was exhausted. I was clinging to the wrong thing. Clinging to my 'problem'.  But we broke up yesterday.
 "It's not you, its me!" (blah blah blah)
 Me and the problem broke up cause its always going to rear its ugly head again.  And I chose the victor.  Cause seriously, lets be real, trusting although a difficult choice, a leap of faith most times. Its still easier than wasting so much energy trying to fix every stinking thing for goodness sake.  
Ain't no one got time for that!
Take heart.