Mothers day is just a few short weeks away. Just a leap into May, and we will all think of our mothers, everyone has one. Some closer than others. Some more present than a best friend in our lives. Mines the latter.
Maybe I am a little bit crazy hormonal since I just gave birth to our third child a little over a week ago, but I have been thinking of my mom a lot lately. The good the bad the ugly. Yes I said it. And its true. Every human has those three. Maybe it should be worded a little different, something like, the True, the Raw, the Beautiful. My mom has all three. We have a very close relationship. It kind of weirded out my husband when we first met.
I remember the day that I realized that my mom was real. She had flaws! What? N way, not my parents. She was always super put together, very full of energy. (Probably because she is boarder lining on having narcolepsy. She can and does fall asleep in mid-sentence and can sleep any and everywhere). When I was a kid, even though she was at work or school a lot, she was doing it. She is the kind of lady who says, "Hey world, I want to go back to nursing school full time and work full time and be a mom, wife, friend, sister and daughter the best I can. oh yeah, and I want to join the military again." And she did.
For a while there I kinda was mad at her a lot. I'll be honest. Amidst turmoil with my brother, I felt over looked. She was doing it all, and I was left to figure it out. (Don't worry, we worked it out since I was 15!) But there's still talk of "the letter". A nasty hurtful letter I wrote one night while my mom was working night shift after being at school during the day. I needed to get it all out. All my emotions I couldn't speak out. So I did. I wrote them out. In a letter. In the worst, mean way any 15 year old could hurt their mother. And it did just that. I immediately felt terrible. But I must say, it brought us closer together. We were already close, but this was a whole new level. I felt like for the first time my mom saw me a young lady. Full of questions, emotions I didn't understand, I needed my mom and I like to believe she saw that I wasn't as independent as we both thought. We talked it out and we have been growing along side of each other ever since.
A lot of milestones have met us with heartache and we chose to stick together and weather the storm together. things like my dad being diagnosed and passing away from cancer almost 8 years ago. Her mother, my Nanny, passing away after a stroke and long stretch in a nursing home. Watching my brother struggle and make huge mistakes in his life. Skype dates while she served almost a year in Iraq.
We choose late night phone calls just to cry it out to another person who 'gets it'. Dinner dates where we just reminisced. So hard-but great walking those things out with her.
She hasn't really ever failed. I mean I know she has, she's human like I said. But she's set out to do lots of great things, and has actually done them, well.
Trained and walked a ridiculous amount of miles on the El Camino (thing Appalachian Trail but in France/Spain) for three weeks just cause she wanted to. Has said things like, "I've always wanted to go to Iceland, Germany, etc" and has actually gone. Its incredible. Her sense of work hard, learn as much as you can, and then play hard.
So- Who is this woman?
Mom. Sister. Daughter. Aunt. Gammi. Friend. US Army Captain. Sojourner.